Control

When you begin to fear, that’s when others can easily take control over you. When you let what others say get to you, you’d experience tension and worry about what will happen if you did not follow suit to what was asked of you. It’s when others control you that you lose yourself in the process. When taking orders it’s as if everything depends upon them, we lose the ability to move by ourselves without prior instructions. We move as puppets, waiting for the next command by the puppeteer. What makes an effective employee, or more importantly, what makes one an effective person? It is someone who doesn’t blindly follow through the rules set before them, but weigh the situation, the task at hand, the things you can do and not just simply backing down.

When managing people, we see the workers that comply with the needs of their bosses; then there are those that are mediocre in performance level, while some go beyond what is expected of them.  As a manager of human resource, of a huge company or a small one, whether it’s a small store or a household, one should bear the responsibility to find efficient people that are true to their work and could deliver. Instilling fear in people is not the way to have a durable relationship, and it won’t be able to elicit positive performance since the other will be submerged in a nervous state of mind. It is important to express truthfulness when dealing with people, to show appreciation and gratitude to the job well done and to encourage future constructive work.

Proper communication can help break the barrier. For instance, misunderstandings arise from second-guessing, instead of asking the person in question or trying to clear the air, we end up raising the walls higher than we should. Later on, it would be harder to get through the barrier. I’ve been reading a book about “The Thirds Side” by William Ury. He explains how negotiations work in any field, whether it’s at the workplace, at home, between countries or ethnicities. Having a dialogue would advocate due process in tackling the problems that we face. Talking about them helps build tolerance and not just false peace. This way, we try to take control of the situation in a non coercive or non brutal way. Being the provider, one must facilitate that the needs of everyone involved are met but not abused; also, he must be able to build respect for one another. Being the teacher, one should foster good exchange of sides, instilling tolerance and values that nurture relationships. Prevention is achieved through proper negotiation.

Reading helps in learning new ideas, meditation and reinforcing old principles already known before. Somehow, it keeps you calm in weighing the circumstances and finding the right path in tackling the questions that arises. Reading helps one find that inner voice within us and regain that consciousness that was lost to anger, frustration or simply the busy life. At times, there are too many things that we have to do that we replace reading with sleeping or just watching an entertaining program; but reading is a habit that we form. I learned from my professor that he wakes up early everyday to read for an hour or two, that way starting his day right and thus accomplishing his long reading lists. He is a critique who receives books for review too so it is good to have set this time for his reading pleasure. If we are too busy, we can take control of our time by reading books that you can finish in a sitting, you can start by reading a graphic or photo book, or those that have entries for a day, then incrementally shift to short essays or choose to read paragraphs in a day till you get used to reading that it has become part of your system. Books fuel our minds to different perspectives and to how we could react to our day to day life. It gives us wisdom to take control of the situations that we have to face. It gives us power to manage our own self, to face different people as well as meeting challenges in life. Reading is a mental exercise that helps us reflect in the process and arms us with skills that normally only experience could teach us. It widens our capabilities because the words are nourishing and at the same time inspiring. After reading, it’s time to write, which is a good exercise for me to sift my thoughts and patch them together, tie some lose ends or start another.

Geared with proper knowledge, we won’t easily be backed down by fear. We can continue to face the realities of life, follow what’s right and what our hearts tell us. Learning to meditate will help weave the strings that were left lose because our mind is powerful. We can choose to succumb to fears, why not opt to empower our mind and wash our fears away?

 

*I joined Writing 101, and here’s what came out of the twenty minute exercise…I have a lot on my mind lately so writing really helps. I’m grateful for the topic of freewriting: unlock the mind.

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