My lips have been sealed. And I’m left with constant struggle, the feeling that something is burning inside of me. You are forbidden to say what you feel, even to feel what you feel. They fall into the traps of pretention and expect you to do the same even if it causes apprehension. Suddenly I feel the tears streaming down, I blink them back but they start to fall again. It’s a feeling of frustration, of not getting the chance to be heard and still be expected to follow through their steps the way they wanted everything to be perfect. I’m left with tears. It’s a good thing I can cry silently now, and be spared of another round of outburst, just not of mine. It’s different when they rant to you their dissatisfaction of this life, but when it’s my turn, I realized that I don’t get to have a turn. They shut me out so easily, dismissing what I have to say or what I feel as unimportant, as if I don’t have a right to voice out my feelings. So I’m really sorry if the tears come haunting me again, don’t worry I’ll wipe them dry… I fear that if I didn’t let them fall I might implode.
Again, I lose a turn. But I get back on track again, even if they don’t want to listen. I just want to escape the shadows and not be stuck in the darkness.
(video from youtube)