That still voice

Enjoyed a cup of coffee with my dad. Tried out the one he was
recommending and it was really good. An acquaintance arrived and
paid for what we ordered. I didn’t get that second refill, but
that’s okay, a cup a day is fine.

I saw how tired and worried my dad was past weeks. And I guess
it’s okay to let them rant to me even if it becomes pretty often.
He doesn’t go out much so there’s practically no one he can turn
to when he feels bad. It was difficult to see them sad, and I somehow mimicked their expressions until they have been molded to mine. So when the opportunity comes, I still want to listen to what they have to say because they’ll just bottle it all up inside.

I have my outlet, I can read and read, write and write, there are
so many insights and stories in the world that I am bound to
discover. I don’t want to waste my life being dragged down to
misery. I can choose to be okay, to not be chased by the
shadows。I can’t promise to be completely fine and I know I can’t go back to the way things were, sometimes the alarm is set off and I feel the sting. I used to not mind when the adults lay out to me their countless worries, and I respond accordingly with ease and peace. I didn’t notice when it started that they all piled up and I began to feel the pressure that now I’m easily ticked off. I realized that it’s difficult to ignore when it’s there. I have to learn to control and not let emotions rule my day. I’ll remember to hum a tune or play a song in my mind; I’ll remind myself of the words that I read and open my heart to the Voice of the One above.

I’m reminded of Casting Crown’s song The Voice of Truth:

The voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I would choose to listen and believe

 

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